Living exactly as you please is a privilege

I suddenly realised that being able to live however you want is, in itself, a privilege.

A few days ago, I was talking with a friend in China when she said, “I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance to visit Australia.”

When we were still students, we had promised that one day we would take a road trip along the Great Ocean Road together.

Later, when she was between jobs, she planned to give herself a proper break. She had already received her Australian visa, and we were excitedly beginning to plan the trip.

Then the pandemic arrived.

After that, life became a constant rush of work, promotions and responsibilities.

I know that the pressure she has carried over the past few years has not been light. Even taking a few days off in an entire year has become a luxury.

The spontaneous trip we once imagined gradually turned into a distant and almost unreachable wish.

That was when I realised that travelling is a privilege.

To travel, you need time that belongs to you and money you are free to spend.

But after entering the workforce, how many people can truly decide what to do with their own time?

And even among those who do have time, how many can comfortably set aside enough money to stand beneath the Northern Lights in Iceland and declare that “life is a wilderness”?

Many freedoms that seem effortless are supported by invisible conditions.

Last year, one of my undergraduate lecturers invited me to give an online talk to a group of second-year students about life and growth after graduation.

I told them that they should allow themselves to fail, have the courage to make mistakes, and remember that there are many different ways to live.

There was no need to remain tense all the time.

But during the discussion afterwards, I realised that they were concerned about something entirely different.

They urgently wanted to know how to find an internship during the upcoming summer break.

Should they already decide in their second year whether to pursue postgraduate study or enter the workforce?

If they planned to sit the postgraduate entrance examination, how should they make the best use of their summer?

Even through the screen, I could feel the anxiety and pressure rushing towards me.

When I thought again about everything I had just said, it began to sound almost like telling someone who had no bread to eat cake instead.

That was when I realised that living with ease is also a privilege.

Some people can make mistakes again and again, change direction repeatedly and slowly discover what they want from life.

But behind that freedom may be a family ready to catch them whenever they fall.

For others, one wrong decision may cost them several years or permanently change the direction of their lives.

Who would not want to live freely and without tension?

The truth is that many people simply do not have much room to choose.

Whether it is travelling freely or living according to your own wishes, these things that appear natural are often hard-won.

Quitting a job without another one lined up because you are unhappy.

Taking a gap year after graduation.

Even spending an entire weekend doing absolutely nothing.

All of these freedoms require something to support them.

It may be open-minded parents, a family able to offer unconditional support, a secure and happy childhood, or a healthy body.

It may also be the calm that someone has earned only after fighting through years of difficulty and slowly building a life of their own.

I used to think that living however you wanted was simply a matter of personal choice.

Now, it feels more like a gift.

Some people are born in Rome.

Others have already exhausted themselves by the time they finally arrive.

No way of living is naturally more superior than another.

People are simply standing at different stages of life, looking at different views.

Not long ago, I came across this sentence:

“Your normal day is someone else’s dream.”

The ordinary life you barely notice may be exactly the life someone else longs for.

So if you have time that you can freely call your own, if you are able to make decisions according to your wishes, or if you can simply live an ordinary life in the way that feels right to you, remember to be grateful for it.

Because being able to live life on your own terms is an extraordinarily fortunate thing.