Through my long, sensitive adolescence, I quietly expected somebody to rescue me. Fairy tales promised a prince; romantic stories rewarded women who were chosen and protected.
That logic followed me beyond relationships. At work and in major decisions, I placed myself in the position of waiting to be selected — for a manager to discover my talent or a life-changing opportunity to arrive.
But a narrative of feminine weakness does not pull us out of difficulty. It erodes agency and keeps life passive.
Turn ‘I cannot’ into ‘I will try’
Waiting to be rescued is, at its core, a surrender of authorship. Agency begins when we trust ourselves to choose and to carry the consequences.
We replace waiting for an opportunity with creating one, and fear of change with a willingness to meet it. Each action becomes evidence that this life is ours.
Stop making yourself smaller
Many women are taught to be modest and accommodating until self-erasure feels virtuous. We call skill luck, hide ambition and soften every clear request.
Gentleness is not weakness, and asking for help does not require giving away the steering wheel. Strength means allowing vulnerability without handing somebody else the direction of our life.
Love and support can remain part of the story. They just cannot replace our own agency. The person ultimately responsible for building your life is you.
“The person ultimately responsible for building your life is you.